Thursday, January 26, 2012

3 Ways to Show Him You're Interested

Gabrielle Union flirting with Idris Alba

Are you having a problem getting a man you want to ask you out? Well, I have some tips to solve your issue. Many times I get asked by women how to make themselves more approachable. Some men may think that a woman should already know how to do that. Believe it or not many still struggle with it. They tend to overlook the simple things that can give a man a hint, or the confidence to ask her out. That man can be just as nervous, or more nervous than you are. So here a 3 things you can do to give him the green light.

1.       1. Smile – this has got to be the simplest thing a woman can do, yet so many neglect this effective tool. I am not saying walk around everywhere with a big ole grin on your face. What I am saying is that when you see a guy you like, then it’s time to break out that winning smile. That will instantly give him notice that you may have some interest. It was also create a more pleasant environment for him to feel comfortable enough to approach you. Looking at him like he stole something will do nothing to increase your chances of exchanging numbers. Side Note:  some of you may go with the “sexy” look instead, but the risk is some men can’t tell the difference between the “sexy” look and the “what the hell are you looking at” look
2.       2. Give a Compliment – ladies you are not the only ones that like to receive a compliment. We men enjoy it as well, especially when it comes from a woman we may be interested in. The other reason why a compliment can really help in showing interest is the fact that a lot of women do not do it. So when it does happen it immediately catches the man’s attention (most men). Some women have become immune to compliments due to the frequency in which some of you receive it. Though I would argue that even those women still want compliments from the man they love from time to time. Men though, we aren’t used to it and is it a great way to say “I am interested, so don’t be biatch! and ask me out already” : )
3.       3. Engage in conversation – I remember once approaching a woman and trying to make conversation. She didn’t seem very much into it. I assumed she was not interested and went about my business. Later when I spoke to a female friend she told me the woman actually was very interested, but is just like that. Well how the hell do you expect me or any man to know you have interest if you are not making an effort to carry on the conversation. I understand that some men will overlook this and still try to get your number. For the guy that you actually like you are making it harder for him to realize you want him to ask you out if you are not saying much. Not to mention that you may simply lose his interest because you are coming off as possibly being boring and not having much of a personality. If you don’t want a man to proceed then continue with the vibe of just waiting for him to shut up and walk away. Just know how to not let that happen when it is a guy you actually want to have future conversations with.

For some of you ladies this list may be common knowledge and what you already practice in your lives. For others this may simply serve as a refresher for information you are already aware of. Then there are some who just flat out overlook how these simple acts can do wonders in increasing your chances of having the guy you want approach you and ask you out. Men already have all the pressure of having to typically initiate things and attempt to read a woman to see if he should proceed or not. The least you could do is make that process easier for him which is a benefit to the both of you at the end of the day.

Wednesday, January 25, 2012

Relationship Expert Stephan Labossiere interview on "The EOP"

Listen to a snippet of Ellen Gee "The Evolution of Perspective" interview Relationship Expert & Author Stephan Labossiere. They talk about his book, relationships, and answer questions from callers looking for advice.

To hear the entire interview, go here: "The Evolution of Perspective" 

**my segment starts at the 30min mark**

You can purchase How To Get A Married Woman To Have Sex With You...If You're Her Husband

here: Amazon Barnes&Noble Smashwords or order it at your local bookstore.

Monday, January 16, 2012

Independent Woman Syndrome

independent women
1. Not influenced or controlled by others in matters of opinion, conduct, etc; thinking or acting for oneself
2. Not subject to another's authority or jurisdiction; autonomous; free: 

Going by definition 1 I think many would say there is nothing wrong with being independent. Definition 2, I can find many issues with but let us just focus on 1 for today. Personally I love independent women. I respect them and appreciate who they are. It is definitely something that would catch my attention and make you more attractive. Once you’re my woman, kill that independent crap! Seriously, once you have a man then it is time to allow him to step up and do his job of properly taking care of you. Unfortunately it does not happen like that for many women. Why? Because they suffer from what I call Independent Woman Syndrome. That’s right ladies; some of you have a disease and don’t even know it. It is hindering you in relationships and in even trying to find a relationship. So how could something I first praised turn out to be so bad? Well let me give you a couple of symptoms so you can better understand the issue.

You try to do everything yourself – don’t get me wrong, I commend and love that you can hold your own. I applaud that you don’t make yourself a burden to others and have learned to handle business correctly on your own. The problem is you are making things harder on yourself. You are allowing more stress and mental fatigue to enter your life when it is not always as necessary as you make it seem. If you truly do not have anyone to help, then ok. For those of you in a relationship then there is no excuse. That man is supposed to be there to lighten the load and help keep you feeling as best as you can. A lot of the men want to help, but your Independent woman syndrome causes you to deny his attempts. You not only make it harder for you in the present, but if you have married or end up marrying this guy you have now set yourself up for more frustration. You are basically programming this man that you can do it on your own. So do not be surprised when he continues to assume “she got this”. Most women if not all women want a man who can step up, but if every time he tries you basically tell him to sit his ass down, well guess what he will now automatically do.
You have a hard time giving respect – what I mean by this is that, when you get so wrapped up into being independent, you are not as easily impressed. So if someone or more importantly a man does something that you feel you could have easily done, you are not going to applaud it or respect it the same. You figure you could have done it, no big deal, so he should be able to do it. When he looks for that appreciation or admiration from you, you are going to look at him like “what, you want a cookie” lol, such a sarcastic line. In doing that, you decrease your ability to do something that most men need from their woman, stroke his ego. You have to let a man feel like a man, or you can do some serious damage to him and the relationship. Not to mention, many women who suffer from IWS also can become very aggressive in how they speak to their man. If you are quick to come at him in a negative way, and are constantly “chopping his balls” when he does something you do not like or approve of, then trust there is going to be a problem. Many times a man who is constantly having his manhood crushed by his woman well then look for any opportunity to assert himself and get his nuts back. Unfortunately, men tend to do that at the very wrong time and in not a smart way. Which then leads to more issues, but had you not chopped them off so much in the first place, well then we could have avoided the whole problem all together. Side note: if you are with a man that you can’t respect, then you are with the wrong guy.

As always, there is much more I could get into and point out. I just gave you a little insight into IWS and the downfall of this. I am in no way telling the ladies not to be independent women. I just want you to learn how to balance being an independent woman, as well as the “right woman” for the man you choose to give that honor to. I also do not want single women to have the same thing they pride themselves on, continue to possibly contribute to what is pushing many of the men away. Yes the right guy will love you for who you are, but don’t make it harder for him to commit to that love. To me a great relationship consist of two independent people who recognize and embrace the value of their partner, and allow themselves to be comfortable, willing, and appreciate depending on each other.  

Tuesday, January 10, 2012

Kevin Hart on Not Being a Protector

**this video does have profanity**

This video was just too funny to me. I think Kevin Hart is a great comedian, but I am sure he exaggerated a bit on his unwillingness to step in to defend his woman. He does make an interesting point when he says he just isn't that type of guy. There are many men out there who probably feel the same way, but in our society where your expected to "man up" I'm not sure all of those guys would be willing to admit it. 

I personally believe a man is supposed to be the provider and protector of his wife and family. I'm not saying I advocate violence, but I damn sure don't expect a man to sit by quietly while some man disrespects his woman. Yes, there are times where you should allow your woman to handle it. Every situation is different and you should not be so quick to take things to another level. I also feel that there are ways to handle things without it getting out of hand and becoming a juvenile display of who has bigger nuts. So as a man you need to be smart and tactful about it, but I do not think it is ok to always sit back and do nothing. I do not believe a woman wants to be with a man who never steps up. She may not even let you do much, but just seeing that your willing to do something is enough for her most of the time. I mean if you want to do what Kevin Hart says in the video which is hide behind the vending machine. The least you could do is scream out "Hey, leave her alone"...actually just stay your ass behind the vending machine and do nothing because she may be more mad at that weak attempt to help her. 

So am I getting this wrong? Am I just caught it in my personal perception of what a man should be? I want to hear from the women on what they think about this. I have heard many women that have said they can handle themselves. That they prefer for the man to leave it up to them so that the situation won't get any worse. Don't get me wrong, I do believe this is true at times, but would you really be ok and comfortable with a man who ALWAYS leaves it up to you to handle these issues? I truly do not feel that a woman would really be ok with this but I would love to hear if you feel otherwise. Also do you feel what Kevin Hart said is true, "women put way to much pressure on men" in regards to this specific issue. Men also feel free to leave your opinion, let's see what everybody has to say about this.

*Side Note: I have faith in GOD that I can handle any situation without it leading to violence and additional drama, but as a man I feel I still must take action when needed under GOD's guidance*

Sunday, January 8, 2012

How To Get A Married Woman To Have Sex With You... - Book Review

by Diane Morasco of BlogCritics

Finally a male who cares enough about the inner dwellings of women to go beyond the quick fix of getting a tumble in the sheets… or in the back seat of a jag. Stephan Labossiere has inked a well-written manual for those in a loving relationship. Don’t let the title fool you – or keep you from picking up this honest little nugget. Labossiere delves into the male-female dynamics in How To Get A Married Woman To Have Sex With You... If You're Her Husband without gratuitous hyperbole. It is a must for couples, counselors, and relationship professionals.

Labossiere illustrates how trust is the key component to having a healthy sex life, a frequent sex life, and a happy sex life. Let’s face it, we all know how to scratch an itch and where to go to get it scratched. What we want — desire -- is something long-term that will linger long after the initial “ahh...”

Click Here to read the rest of this review

Saturday, January 7, 2012

He Saved Me

Today we have a guest post by my friend and fellow author Stephania Vereen. It is one of her poems that you can find in her book Letters To Words

He saved me
He saved me from myself
Loved me so much he forced me to see what there is to love
Believed in me
Put me on a pedestal
Took everything I had to dish out
And even dared me to give him more
To show that he won’t hurt me
To show that he’s not the enemy
He poured so much of himself into my healing
Into my growth
That he may have lost more of himself than was already gone
Why won’t he let me save him?
Why won’t he let me show him what I see?
Why won’t he believe me when I stress his greatness?
In my own selfish greed
I’ve spent enough time taking from him
And not giving back
Enough time not loving him
The way he deserves
And now
My eyes are open wide
I see him in all his glory
And I want to give him more than I’ve taken
I want to motivate him
Encourage him
Save him…from himself
Love him so much
That he can’t help but to see what he’s made of
He’s my heart
My king
My partner
My jigsaw
Baby, let me save you too .

by Stephania Vereen
Author of Letters to Words: Ebook Paperback

Sunday, January 1, 2012

3 Things Single Men Need to Start Doing TODAY!

Man on Mountain Accepting Relationship Advice
Men it is time to start being real men and stop with all the nonsense. I understand that some of you are clueless to the damage you do to women and to the overall state of relationships, but that’s why I am doing my part to make sure you are now informed on the reality of these issues. Be brave and drop the pride while I show you the way and help you take the necessary steps to becoming the best man you can be. Let’s begin….

1. Be honest about your intentions – look guys, if you're simply looking for some ass then please stop allowing her to believe that you want may want more than that. It’s not cool and it is simply causing more damage and more dysfunction in the crazy world of relationships. I mean don’t get me wrong, I know when a woman says “if a guy just wants sex, then just say it and you might just get it” is such a setup. It was a great line some woman came up with to help weed out the guys who are just after sex. Understand though that there are much better ways to achieve your goals without having to lie or “play boyfriend”. If your “game” is that weak that you have to lie, then maybe you just don’t deserve any sex and you should consider donating your nuts to someplace where they can be put to use : ). I joke, I just want to acknowledge that this is what most men are after while helping you understand that I and the women of the world would like for you to take a better approach to getting it.
2. Learn how to be a man – attention momma’s boys and freeloading good for nothing men. This behavior of being dependent on a woman to take care of you and not knowing how to stand your own two feet is unacceptable and needs to stop immediately. You will never be able to properly take care of a woman in a way that she needs or desires if you have yet to learn how to take care of yourself. To be fair, some momma’s boys do know how to be men but if you don’t learn how to cut that umbilical cord now you will have major issues when you get married and you keep putting your mother over your wife (which in my opinion is not a good move at all). So freeloaders and men who are dependent on others, it is time to stand on your own merits and start being a real man. Your future girlfriend/wife is not going to be happy with some guy who can't take initiative to do anything for himself. She is not going to be happy carrying an extra burden in the relationship because she does not have a man she can count on. Yeah I know some of you are being taken care of by your woman, so you figure if it ain’t broke don’t fix it. Well guess what, it is broken, you just don’t see the cracks and dysfunction clearly. You keep it up and it will become painfully clear how broken it really was the entire time.
3. Try to understand women – yeah I know some of you think you’re a bunch of pimps who have the whole “women” thing down pact. Man you don’t have a clue, and that reality will eventually slap you in the face once in a serious relationship or marriage. So here is the deal, you can either wait till that time comes and try to learn on the fly or you can get started now and be ready for when that day comes. I’m not talking about tips and tricks to maneuvering through a woman’s mind and heart. I’m talking about a genuine attempt to understand women and the ways that many of them operate. You wouldn’t wait to the championship game before you raise your level of play, you would practice well in advance so that you have a shot to win that championship. Well it is the same thing here and if you’re smart you won’t waste another day waiting to prepare yourself.

There it is right there and I’m sure many women would agree with this list. There are other things I could list but let’s just focus on this for now, and you can learn more as you continue to come back to this great blog that will enlighten you and educate you on the many things you need to know. The man that takes heed to this message will be a few steps ahead of the other guys too prideful to take some good advice. If you’re a woman reading this, well pass it along. The more men we can get to start doing better, the more we can create a positive environment that benefits both men and women. It is a New Year, and it is time for a new approach.