Thursday, December 29, 2011

3 Things Single Women Need to Start Doing TODAY!

Woman feeling liberated due to Relationship Advice

Ladies, ladies, ladies : ). For years I have heard you speak of your desire to be the best woman you can be. I have listened to you express your frustrations on understanding what it is you need to do for yourselves and in your desire to have better and more fulfilling relationships. Today I want to help you move in the right direction so LISTEN UP!! : ) That’s right, I’m talking to you. There is some absolute nonsense you need to stop doing if you plan to make your dream of a better you a reality. As I walk with you on this journey, do not get defensive and do not start blaming men as to why you do what you do. Just take a deep breath and read closely….
      1. Stop mixing sex with love – like really, how many more horror stories of traumatized women, hurt feelings, and failed missions do you need to hear about or witness before you stop equating love and sex. Men do not do this, so why keep using sex to try to get him, keep him, or justify his existence in your life. This has not worked well at all and it is time to fully accept this fact and stop self inflicting all this damage to your hearts and feelings. I understand sex is also an emotional thing for a woman. I am in no way asking you to separate your emotions if you’re unable to. I’m saying stop getting it all mixed up. Don’t tell me you can’t tell the difference or you’re confused. NO, you are smarter than that and you know exactly what is going on but instead you choose to do the next thing on this list that has contributed to your heart’s demise.
2.       2. Stop lying to yourself – women I know the truth. You ladies are sharp and pay attention to much more detail than most men. You are very smart and very aware of your emotions and the many things that run through your mind. You’re always thinking and processing so you’re much better prepared for what is thrown at you because you typically think ahead. So, why must you continue this pattern of lying to yourself to justify actions you know are wrong. I am not saying men don’t do this to, but I am not talking to the men so focus woman! I can give you all kinds of example of lies you tell yourself but I will save that for another post dedicated to just that. Either way I don’t have to tell you because you know. You may lie to your friends, family, that guy, and yourself. No matter how much you do that, you still know the truth, and you need to accept it. You aren’t doing yourself any favors, and when it all hits the fan, you don’t have anybody to blame but yourself. Embrace the truth, it may hurt, and it may not be what you think you want, but it is exactly what you need.
3.       3. Stop being scared – that’s right, stop operating from fear so much. What you call protecting yourself, I call it fear. What you call playing it safe, I call it fear. What you call gold digging, I call a very smart business move : ). That was a joke, please don’t take that seriously. Anyway, I really feel that women far too often make decisions based on the fear of being hurt. Women also sometimes try to disguise the fear and call it love. For example, you are afraid to leave a man because you don’t want to be alone, so what do you do, out of that fear you lie to yourself and others and claim you love him to validate staying. That is just one example. What women have to realize is that operating from fear is only making things worse for you in the long run. You need to get to a point where you can operate out of faith, and trust you will put yourself in a much better position.

There is so much more I want to say. If this wasn’t a blog post I would get much deeper into this and really get at the root of the issues that haunt not just single women, but all women for that matter. Well guess what? There is a book I am working on that will do just that, so stay tuned : ). In the meantime, take heed to what I wrote today. Some of you may not be dealing with these issues, but if you are it is time to take a stand and make the necessary corrections. You know what you have been doing so far isn’t really working for you, so why keep doing it. It is time to break the cycle and start moving towards a better you which will help also open the door to receiving the right person for you.  

Monday, December 19, 2011

TOP 12 Reasons Good Men Are Single (Part 2)

Top 12 Reasons A Good Men Are Single Part 2

Ok so I am back to finish my list of The Top 12 Reasons A Good Man Is Single. I believe in personal accountability, so you will notice that I refuse to blame women for the issue (though some do contribute to it). Here are my next 6 reasons:
         7. He is Gay
      -  Now let me clear something up. In no way do I want you to jump to the conclusion that anytime you see a single “good man” that means he is gay. This is not at all the case, but that does not mean this isn’t one of the reasons a lot of “good men” are not available for women. I want to give honest reasons, but please don’t go around to every single “good man” saying, “oh, so you must be gay” lol that’s not cool ladies.
2.     8. He is not secure financially
      -  Despite what kind of financial status he may portray, a “good man” may not always be as financially set as he would like. A real man who loves his woman wants to be able to provide for her. It does not mean he has to be able to shower her with gifts but he wants to be able to take care of the essentials and a little more. So, if he isn’t comfortable with his finances, he may hold back on entering a relationship. We can discuss whether he should or shouldn’t think this way, but the fact remains it does happen a lot.
3.      9. Sexually he sucks!
      -  I don’t mean that literally, because if he did the right kind of licking and sucking he may be able to overcome some of his sexual deficiencies. I mean the man has no clue on how to sexually and intimately handle a woman. Some women actually allow themselves to suffer through this because he is a “good man”. You may be able to get by on low sexual skills in some cases, but not knowing how to pleasure a woman decreases your ability to keep a woman. Whether it’s right or wrong, sex can be a huge factor in “good men” being single, and not to mention “bad men” having women they don’t deserve.
4.      10. He has been hurt
      -  As many women as there are that carry around emotional baggage from their past, there are many men who do the same. That “good man” may be having a hard time getting out of his own way and conquering his fear of being vulnerable in a relationship. Though I do believe many men simply use this reason as a cop-out and a way to deflect the real reasons. I still feel there are many it does apply to.
5.     11. He wants more than one woman
      -  The simple fact is, a lot of “good men” know their value. They understand they are a hot commodity and they have no intention of not taking full advantage of this. They don’t want to be in a relationship, they want to be with a variety of women and just have “fun”. He may be a good guy but he just isn’t ready or receptive to a commitment right now. Many men feel the need to play the field before they settle down. Being viewed as a “good man” makes it easier to have options and do what they like.
6.     12. He hasn’t found the right one
      -  Unlike a lot of women, most men are not as pressed to find a significant other. We are much more willing to take our time but the desire to have sex usually pushes many men into relationships much sooner than they really care to be in one. A guy knows he has a lot of options, and is less willing to possibly sign his life away with the wrong girl. Women tend to be ready to jump on any guy with a great resume and think here is her chance to finally settle down. Good girl doesn’t equal the right girl and vice versa. I think this is a smart way to approach things, but when you get with a “good person” that is the wrong one for you, you risk turning them, and yourself, into a “bad person” for everybody else.

I’m sure there are some reasons that we could swap in and out, but I am confident this list sheds some light on the topic. Main thing to take away from this is be honest with yourself and others as to what your issues are. Blaming others does nothing to help you control and correct the things you can, which is yourself. Many people want to be in a relationship, but if you aren’t right with yourself, it will be very hard to be right for anyone else

Monday, December 12, 2011

TOP 12 Reasons Good Men Are Single

Top 12 Reasons A Good Men Are Single Part 1

So, I recently had the opportunity to read a blog that listed 12 reasons good men are single. No disrespect to the author, but I was extremely disappointed after reading it. “Why?” you ask, because out of the twelve things listed only one had anything to do with the men themselves. I mean really, how can you put so much blame on women for your inability to find a mate. Don’t get me wrong, there are many ways that women contribute to the problem. I am simply saying that there has to be a higher level of personal accountability involved. So with that said, here are my Top 12 Reasons A Good Man Is Single:

1. You’re too soft:
- Yeah you have a good job, yeah you’re a good-looking guy, and yeah you open doors and all that sweet stuff. That’s great, and I applaud you for all those things. But at the end of the day, no woman wants a punk, and if you have not learned to balance cherishing your woman as well as putting her in check when she disrespects you, then you will continue to be a lonely punk…I’m just trying to help.
2. You lack ambition:
- So men seem to think that because they are the good guys, this means that mediocrity in other aspects of their lives should be accepted. Don’t get me wrong, some women have ridiculous (at least in my eyes) expectations, but some of you “good men” don’t expect enough out of yourselves. It doesn’t matter what your line of work is, show the drive to do better and be better and you will quickly attract more women.
3. You’re easily intimidated:
- Just because she has a lot going on for herself and portrays the “independent woman syndrome” (I will save the elaboration for another post) does not mean you need to feel insecure and start trying to prove yourself in ways that end up coming off as lame and annoying. Also, a lot of “good men” feel challenged by a woman who can do for herself and they back away at any sight of assertiveness on her end. MAN UP! If you know you’re a good man then just be you and she will figure it out. Assert yourself and watch how well that works.
4. You lack confidence:
- This goes with #3. A lot of guys that are “good men” do not have the confidence it takes to keep a woman. Women love confidence, and if you don’t have it then don’t expect to have her. That confidence actually plays into #1 & #2 on this list as well. You can’t blame women for not believing in you when you can’t believe in yourself. Get it together man!
5. You have no personality:
- Your good job can buy you a lot of things, but it can’t buy you a good relationship. You will have some women who can tolerate you, but you won’t be able to keep her if you have not developed skills like: good conversation, making her laugh, and (not that I’m promoting this but…) good sex. Your nice guy, good job, blah blah blah can only take you so far. Become more well rounded and you will become more desirable and be able to keep the women that your money may attract.
6. You’re just not that attractive:
- I am not trying to be mean, but let’s be honest. Many “good guys” just aren’t always the best looking. There is hope though. If you can conquer the other 5 things on this list, and do a good job a grooming yourself, getting in shape, and having some style, you will easily become so much more attractive. Women are turned on by many non-physical attributes so take advantage of what you can control and you will no longer have to deal with this issue.

These are my first 6 reasons, in no particular order of importance. Not every “good guy” has all these issues, but typically one of these things is present. Don’t be so quick to blame women for your singlehood if you have not properly addressed the things that you can control. For those that don’t fall under any of these reasons, I will cover their potential issues in my following 6 reasons when I post Top 12 Reasons Good Men Are Single Part 2. I look forward to shedding more light on this, and in the meantime, don’t forget to like my Facebook Fan Page: Stephan Labossiere and take a look at my site Relationship Expert…

Tuesday, December 6, 2011

And The Winner Is.......

Race to Win The Book How To Get A Married Woman To Have Sex With You...If You're Husband

Elizabeth Kotkiewicz Hyatt is the the winner of my 1st book giveaway. She will be receiving an autographed copy of my first relationship book How To Get A Married Woman To Have Sex With You...If You're Her Husband

Thank you to everyone that "Liked" my facebook fan page: Stephan Labossiere. I have decided to continue with this giveaway and announce my next winner on Jan 3, 2012. If you are already a fan you are automatically entered to win.

Stay tuned for a new blog post this week, and I encourage you to show your support by "Joining This Site" which you can find that button on the right side of this page. Congrats again to Elizabeth Kotkiewicz Hyatt.