Ladies, ladies, ladies : ). For years I have heard you speak of your desire to be the best woman you can be. I have listened to you express your frustrations on understanding what it is you need to do for yourselves and in your desire to have better and more fulfilling relationships. Today I want to help you move in the right direction so LISTEN UP!! : ) That’s right, I’m talking to you. There is some absolute nonsense you need to stop doing if you plan to make your dream of a better you a reality. As I walk with you on this journey, do not get defensive and do not start blaming men as to why you do what you do. Just take a deep breath and read closely….
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1. Stop mixing sex with love – like really, how many more horror stories of traumatized women, hurt feelings, and failed missions do you need to hear about or witness before you stop equating love and sex. Men do not do this, so why keep using sex to try to get him, keep him, or justify his existence in your life. This has not worked well at all and it is time to fully accept this fact and stop self inflicting all this damage to your hearts and feelings. I understand sex is also an emotional thing for a woman. I am in no way asking you to separate your emotions if you’re unable to. I’m saying stop getting it all mixed up. Don’t tell me you can’t tell the difference or you’re confused. NO, you are smarter than that and you know exactly what is going on but instead you choose to do the next thing on this list that has contributed to your heart’s demise.
2. 2. Stop lying to yourself – women I know the truth. You ladies are sharp and pay attention to much more detail than most men. You are very smart and very aware of your emotions and the many things that run through your mind. You’re always thinking and processing so you’re much better prepared for what is thrown at you because you typically think ahead. So, why must you continue this pattern of lying to yourself to justify actions you know are wrong. I am not saying men don’t do this to, but I am not talking to the men so focus woman! I can give you all kinds of example of lies you tell yourself but I will save that for another post dedicated to just that. Either way I don’t have to tell you because you know. You may lie to your friends, family, that guy, and yourself. No matter how much you do that, you still know the truth, and you need to accept it. You aren’t doing yourself any favors, and when it all hits the fan, you don’t have anybody to blame but yourself. Embrace the truth, it may hurt, and it may not be what you think you want, but it is exactly what you need.
3. 3. Stop being scared – that’s right, stop operating from fear so much. What you call protecting yourself, I call it fear. What you call playing it safe, I call it fear. What you call gold digging, I call a very smart business move : ). That was a joke, please don’t take that seriously. Anyway, I really feel that women far too often make decisions based on the fear of being hurt. Women also sometimes try to disguise the fear and call it love. For example, you are afraid to leave a man because you don’t want to be alone, so what do you do, out of that fear you lie to yourself and others and claim you love him to validate staying. That is just one example. What women have to realize is that operating from fear is only making things worse for you in the long run. You need to get to a point where you can operate out of faith, and trust you will put yourself in a much better position.
There is so much more I want to say. If this wasn’t a blog post I would get much deeper into this and really get at the root of the issues that haunt not just single women, but all women for that matter. Well guess what? There is a book I am working on that will do just that, so stay tuned : ). In the meantime, take heed to what I wrote today. Some of you may not be dealing with these issues, but if you are it is time to take a stand and make the necessary corrections. You know what you have been doing so far isn’t really working for you, so why keep doing it. It is time to break the cycle and start moving towards a better you which will help also open the door to receiving the right person for you.
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